IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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