she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
