its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
