he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
