So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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