We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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