I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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