im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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