when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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