In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Gay?
German.
Pity.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
