I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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