I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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