I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
