please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
