What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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