The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
