winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
