Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
this just has baby written all over it
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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