Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
