What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
