He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
