I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
