Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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