so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
