We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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