I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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