Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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