So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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