i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
