I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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