Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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