I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
