Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
