No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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