I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
