honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
