Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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