definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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