You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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