Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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