My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
farters have to be the big spoon...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
