You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
