i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
