i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
