Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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