So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I enjoy the company of your penis
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
