But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
