I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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