Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
