I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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