the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
