it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
